A reflection on the “interior country” long‑term expats carry: how life across borders reshapes your nervous system, and a guided audio to visit that inner home.
I am an ATCK living in my 15th country who’s brought up 4 TCKs of her own. I completely agree with you. I’ve always said home is not one particularly place but something you carry within you. Shame we never meet in madrid! We left our home there June last year to move to Italy. I’m now choosing to stay in one place for the first time ever in my life. Very different feeling for me. I explore the complexities of identity, belonging and life across borders in my memoir “Beneath A Borrowed Sky - One woman’s search for the true meaning of home” which I think you’ll find an interesting read.
Thank you for such a thoughtful essay. It gave me a lot to think about.
I was born and raised in Japan to Japanese parents, and I grew up with what would be considered a traditional Japanese upbringing. Although I've now lived abroad much longer than I ever lived in Japan, I've always felt that Japan is my home and that I'm Japanese. Perhaps that's partly because my parents were quite strict about the values they raised me with.
Reading your essay made me realize that people who have spent many years abroad don't all experience it in the same way. My own sense of identity has always stayed firmly rooted in Japan, but your idea of an "interior country" really stayed with me.
I also have Japanese American relatives in the United States who hold on strongly to their Japanese roots, even generations later. In some ways, that has probably influenced how I think about identity as well.
Your essay helped me see that there are many different ways people make sense of a life lived across cultures. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
That's such a precise way to put it, Devanjali. The layered belonging isn't just an emotional experience, it's often the very thing that makes a certain kind of career or life possible in the first place. Thank you for naming that connection.
This is 100% true for me too. There are definitely routes my body naturally takes in all of the cities I've lived in and loved. And there are words in other languages that slip off my tongue when I want to say something no matter which country I'm in or if anyone else will understand what I'm saying. And all of that makes me smile because this is who I am now. This is a gift that all the years abroad has given me. It feels like a rich secret I have. But now I see that it's your secret too. 🧡
Vivian, this might be one of my favorite descriptions of this yet: a rich secret. That reframes something that can feel disorienting into something you actually get to keep and carry with you, wherever you go. The bit about words slipping off your tongue in other languages regardless of who's listening is so specific and so recognizable to those of us who know. Thank you for naming it that way, and for reminding me it's a shared secret now, not a solitary one 😉
I am an ATCK living in my 15th country who’s brought up 4 TCKs of her own. I completely agree with you. I’ve always said home is not one particularly place but something you carry within you. Shame we never meet in madrid! We left our home there June last year to move to Italy. I’m now choosing to stay in one place for the first time ever in my life. Very different feeling for me. I explore the complexities of identity, belonging and life across borders in my memoir “Beneath A Borrowed Sky - One woman’s search for the true meaning of home” which I think you’ll find an interesting read.
Thank you for such a thoughtful essay. It gave me a lot to think about.
I was born and raised in Japan to Japanese parents, and I grew up with what would be considered a traditional Japanese upbringing. Although I've now lived abroad much longer than I ever lived in Japan, I've always felt that Japan is my home and that I'm Japanese. Perhaps that's partly because my parents were quite strict about the values they raised me with.
Reading your essay made me realize that people who have spent many years abroad don't all experience it in the same way. My own sense of identity has always stayed firmly rooted in Japan, but your idea of an "interior country" really stayed with me.
I also have Japanese American relatives in the United States who hold on strongly to their Japanese roots, even generations later. In some ways, that has probably influenced how I think about identity as well.
Your essay helped me see that there are many different ways people make sense of a life lived across cultures. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
That layered belonging is exactly what makes a career without borders possible.
That's such a precise way to put it, Devanjali. The layered belonging isn't just an emotional experience, it's often the very thing that makes a certain kind of career or life possible in the first place. Thank you for naming that connection.
This is 100% true for me too. There are definitely routes my body naturally takes in all of the cities I've lived in and loved. And there are words in other languages that slip off my tongue when I want to say something no matter which country I'm in or if anyone else will understand what I'm saying. And all of that makes me smile because this is who I am now. This is a gift that all the years abroad has given me. It feels like a rich secret I have. But now I see that it's your secret too. 🧡
Vivian, this might be one of my favorite descriptions of this yet: a rich secret. That reframes something that can feel disorienting into something you actually get to keep and carry with you, wherever you go. The bit about words slipping off your tongue in other languages regardless of who's listening is so specific and so recognizable to those of us who know. Thank you for naming it that way, and for reminding me it's a shared secret now, not a solitary one 😉