I feel way more at home now in Kampala than I do in the US!! Uganda has been home for 8 years now, and I get reverse culture shock when I’m back in the States.
As a person of color in America, we are perceived to be immigrants while in East Africa I’m perceived to be an expat. This has a lot to do with the understanding of race and power, which I’ve been thinking more about and I’m reflecting on why I’m more comfortable in a place where I am perceived as “white”.
Being read as “immigrant” in one place and “expat” in another, and feeling the comfort that comes with the second — is such an honest thing to sit with, because it points to how much of “feeling at home” is actually about how safely we're allowed to exist somewhere, not just how we feel inside.
That reverse culture shock you describe in the US sounds less like homesickness and more like your nervous system remembering what it's like to be watched differently.
"Many globally mobile folks I’ve spoken to describe something like this: their bodies spend more time in a calm-enough, socially engaged state in their host country, and more time in that slightly revved, mobilized state in the place that’s supposed to be “home” on paper."
I felt this so much during my last trip back to Texas. Automatic shift into a higher state of situational awareness as soon as I left the airport in Dallas, didn't ease up until I landed in Lisbon.
Casey, this is such a clear example of what I was trying to name. The shift happening as you left the airport in Texas, and not easing until you landed back in Portugal, says so much about how place-specific these responses can be. Your body already knew the difference before you had to explain it. Thank you for adding this to the conversation :)
I feel way more at home now in Kampala than I do in the US!! Uganda has been home for 8 years now, and I get reverse culture shock when I’m back in the States.
As a person of color in America, we are perceived to be immigrants while in East Africa I’m perceived to be an expat. This has a lot to do with the understanding of race and power, which I’ve been thinking more about and I’m reflecting on why I’m more comfortable in a place where I am perceived as “white”.
Being read as “immigrant” in one place and “expat” in another, and feeling the comfort that comes with the second — is such an honest thing to sit with, because it points to how much of “feeling at home” is actually about how safely we're allowed to exist somewhere, not just how we feel inside.
That reverse culture shock you describe in the US sounds less like homesickness and more like your nervous system remembering what it's like to be watched differently.
"Many globally mobile folks I’ve spoken to describe something like this: their bodies spend more time in a calm-enough, socially engaged state in their host country, and more time in that slightly revved, mobilized state in the place that’s supposed to be “home” on paper."
I felt this so much during my last trip back to Texas. Automatic shift into a higher state of situational awareness as soon as I left the airport in Dallas, didn't ease up until I landed in Lisbon.
Casey, this is such a clear example of what I was trying to name. The shift happening as you left the airport in Texas, and not easing until you landed back in Portugal, says so much about how place-specific these responses can be. Your body already knew the difference before you had to explain it. Thank you for adding this to the conversation :)