Kay, I really enjoyed reading this. I feel like you described something that's hard to put into words. I'm grateful to have had a handful of friends (one or two from each chapter) who have stayed a part of my life, even if it's through distance. Other friends have dropped off over the years, but never because we stopped being friends, we just evolved and grew apart.
I do have one friend that has seen and existed in many chapters of my life. I call her my soulmate friend. We met in China on travels and exchanged social media. Later, she ended up moving to NYC just after I did for an internship. We spent six months becoming close friends and both witnessed a growing phase of our lives. A year, after I moved to London, she ended up doing a study abroad master's program also in London for four months of my time there. Since then, we have crossed paths in other cities, and more recently, she has moved back to New York and I was able to see her twice again in the US before leaving. Having her is truly a blessing!
Julia, thanks for your kind words, I’m glad you connected with this essay.
I love your "soulmate friend" story; and what strikes me is the shape of it — the different touchpounts across China, then NYC, then London, then New York again. Most long-distance friendships survive on effort. Hers seems to survive on timing showing up again and again, almost on its own. That's rare and such a gift to have.
I really resonate with this. Living abroad can leave your life divided among people who each know a different version of you, and sometimes you just want one person who understands how all those versions belong to the same life.
Exactly that. Most people are handed one version of you and never notice the others exist (or just never got to see them).
The rare friends aren't the ones who know the most about you. They're the ones who can hold the different yous as one continuous person, no matter where you move.
Kay, I really enjoyed reading this. I feel like you described something that's hard to put into words. I'm grateful to have had a handful of friends (one or two from each chapter) who have stayed a part of my life, even if it's through distance. Other friends have dropped off over the years, but never because we stopped being friends, we just evolved and grew apart.
I do have one friend that has seen and existed in many chapters of my life. I call her my soulmate friend. We met in China on travels and exchanged social media. Later, she ended up moving to NYC just after I did for an internship. We spent six months becoming close friends and both witnessed a growing phase of our lives. A year, after I moved to London, she ended up doing a study abroad master's program also in London for four months of my time there. Since then, we have crossed paths in other cities, and more recently, she has moved back to New York and I was able to see her twice again in the US before leaving. Having her is truly a blessing!
Julia, thanks for your kind words, I’m glad you connected with this essay.
I love your "soulmate friend" story; and what strikes me is the shape of it — the different touchpounts across China, then NYC, then London, then New York again. Most long-distance friendships survive on effort. Hers seems to survive on timing showing up again and again, almost on its own. That's rare and such a gift to have.
I really resonate with this. Living abroad can leave your life divided among people who each know a different version of you, and sometimes you just want one person who understands how all those versions belong to the same life.
Exactly that. Most people are handed one version of you and never notice the others exist (or just never got to see them).
The rare friends aren't the ones who know the most about you. They're the ones who can hold the different yous as one continuous person, no matter where you move.